How to update your will after a divorce

In many U.S. states, a divorce automatically revokes any bequest you left your ex-spouse in your will. This sounds reassuring, but it is not a reason to delay rewriting the document. Here is why: the revocation typically applies only to your ex, not to their family members you may have named. If you left something to your former mother-in-law or a sibling-in-law, those gifts often survive the divorce untouched. Beyond family, any named executor who is connected to your ex could still hold that role depending on your state's law. Intestacy laws, the rules that govern where your assets go if you die without a valid will, vary widely and may produce an outcome you would find genuinely alarming. Do not assume the legal machinery sorted this out when you signed the decree. Pull your existing will and read it. Mark every name. That list is your starting point.

Your will is the headline, but it is not the only document doing work here. Beneficiary designations on financial accounts operate entirely outside your will. Life insurance policies, 401(k)s, IRAs, bank accounts with payable-on-death designations, and brokerage accounts with transfer-on-death instructions all pass directly to whoever is named, regardless of what your will says. That means your ex could receive your retirement account even if your updated will gives it to someone else. Make a list of every account you hold and check the beneficiary field on each one. Contact the plan administrator or log into the account portal. Many of these can be updated online in under ten minutes once you know where to look. Also check any trusts you created during the marriage, your healthcare proxy or durable power of attorney, and any living will or advance directive. All of these probably still have your ex's name on them.

Before you sit across from an estate attorney, do the thinking so you are paying for drafting, not for working out your feelings about your sister-in-law on the clock. You need to answer four questions. First, who are your beneficiaries, and in what proportions? If you have children, this is likely straightforward but worth stating precisely. Second, who is your executor, the person who will manage your estate and carry out the will's instructions? Pick someone organized and emotionally steady. Third, if you have minor children, who is your named guardian in the event both you and your ex die? This is often the most emotionally loaded decision in any post-divorce will update. Fourth, do you want to establish any trusts within the will, particularly for children who are too young to manage assets outright? Writing the answers to these questions down before the appointment will make the meeting faster and cheaper.

You can use an online will platform for a simple estate, but if you have minor children, real property, retirement accounts with complicated beneficiary structures, or assets above roughly $100,000, a licensed estate attorney is worth the cost. Fees for a straightforward will typically run between $300 and $1,500 depending on complexity and location. What you are paying for is state-specific accuracy and someone who will catch what you missed. When the draft comes back, read every line. Confirm that every name you crossed off your original list is gone. Confirm the executor, the guardian if applicable, and the distribution percentages. Then comes the part that trips people up: execution. A will is not valid until it is signed in front of the required number of witnesses, typically two, who are not beneficiaries, and in some states notarized. Do not sign it at home and file it away. Follow the exact execution requirements for your state, or the document may be challenged or invalidated.

A perfectly written, properly executed will that no one can find at the right moment has limited value. Store the original in a fireproof safe at home, a safe-deposit box, or with your attorney. If you use a safe-deposit box, make sure your executor can access it after your death, which sometimes requires specific authorization. Keep a digital copy as a reference, not as a legal substitute. Tell your executor where the original is. If you have named a guardian for your children, tell them too. While you are at it, create or update a simple one-page document that lists your accounts, the location of your will, your attorney's contact information, and any login credentials your executor would need. This is sometimes called a letter of instruction. It is not a legal document, but it may be the most practically useful thing you leave behind. Update it every time your financial life changes.